“And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” – Luke 10:25-28
The Call of Real Faith
Going back to treatment has been hard. It was a hard day back in January to hear that the cancer had returned and spread. Now after 3 months of renewed treatment, I go on Thursday morning for a new PET scan that will reveal what the next steps will be.
It’s lead me to think about how I have both struggled and grown in my faith over the last 2 years. I have been considering what is real faith; such a core tenet of the Christian paradigm, but often confused and elusive to even strong adherents. I think a real Christian faith Is wrapped up in the core of the greatest commandment: Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Jesus calls this the greatest commandment, and it’s found in three places in the bible: Matthew 22:34–40, Mark 12:28–34, Luke 10:25–28.
Faith is more than an intellectual assessment or opinion, but it starts with a considered assessment of hopefully clear thinking. From the heart, It’s more than a flash of emotion or momentary inspiration. There is something powerful when it’s connected with a genuine spiritual experience, and a Christian faith has durability and consistency as it’s true strength.
I was listening to an old Tim Keller sermon and had some great notes about how faith starts with intelligent questions. Contrary to the common presumption that faith is just accepting an idea without evidence, actual faith in an investigation of an idea until you are satisfied that the evidence fits the reality that you need to act on. Pastor Keller gave an example that was remarkably close to my actual experience last year. Soon after my initial diagnosis, I met my surgeon to discuss the potential of removing the tumor from my liver. I asked a bunch of questions, and he assured me of his qualifications to do the work, that he had done this type of surgery before, he could do multiple approaches, etcetera. I became convinced that this was the right approach and scheduled a day for the procedure. I had faith that he could do what he claimed he could do. But the day came, and I had to actually show up and walk into pre-op and start getting ready. The nurse started describing everything she was doing, and my anxiety just went right through the roof, and I passed out. I woke up 30 seconds later and really wanted to just go home – my faith was wavering based on what I was seeing. This is the opposite of what many people expect from faith – Seeing something is supposed to build your faith, right? I had to stop and think – to consider – to renew my thoughts about why I was there. The surgery plan was still the right plan, despite my doubts and anxiety. My faith became real when I laid down and let them put the mask on me and started to count backwards. Real faith has a foundation in intelligent pursuit, and my mind had to oversee my circumstances. Faith needs to be struggled with and investigated. It does not need to be a complete understanding – It just needs to make more sense than any other set of proposed conclusions.
Faith is connected to the soul. There is a mysterious connection to the presence of the Holy Spirit in generating faith. As a Christian, I believe in the presence of the indwelling of the spirit of God in every true believer. It’s not like being plugged in to a power line – It’s not an impersonal force. I think of my home when I was a kid and a relative would come and stay for the weekend. The house would be cleaned up, a menu of good food prepared. The life of the home would be more vibrant with loud, with sparking conversations and an occasional board game. The house had a fullness to it, a rounded presence of trusted family, stories, food and memories. It’s out of this type of fullness that faith can spring up out of grace and peace, not fearful or reactionary, but grounded and complete. We can love God with our soul when we recognize that faith is nurtured by God himself reaching into us with his goodness and lifting us, warming us with his presence, allowing our thoughts to be clear and strong.
Faith also needs to come from the heart. Now the ancient understanding of the heart was where the center of the will was located. We tend to think of heart, in metaphor, as where our emotions and passions originate from, but an ancient reader would understand that Jesus was saying that to love God with your heart was to choose to act on your love. You willfully choose an action based on what the mind has qualified, and the soul has enabled. It is raising your hand to be counted among the fellowship. It’s actually doing something for that struggling friend. It’s the show-me part of saying you’re a believer. When you engage in devotional activities, with a church family, serving in a compassionate manner, or any of a thousand other ways we can take the inner life of faith and find expression in the physical world. This is faith that comes from the heart and loves God.
The strength part of the greatest commandment is where it’s enduring and vibrant. You’re not just acting on your faith, you’re acting on it consistently and creatively, improving the way you walk. It’s not about being perfect, but it is about a consistent trajectory of striving, a willingness to set a direction and keep going.
Real faith is a thoughtful, spiritually full, willful, and enduring expression of loving God, one who first loved us through promises and patience, through Christ, and now day by day as He provides for us.
That leads to my simple prayer request. Yesterday was not a chemo treatment day, but I do have a PET scan scheduled for Thursday. It’s an important one that comes after 3 months of renewed treatment, so it will determine how effective the chemotherapy and immunotherapy has been – or not. If you ask me how I feel, I can’t give you a clear answer. I feel the effects from the treatment, and I feel my ribs occasionally twinge, but is that cancer spreading or dying, I can’t tell. Please pray for healing and a positive mental health as we feel the anxiety of the coming test and results next Monday.
Whatever the results of the scan – and the next scan after that – I have faith – real faith – that a good God will be leading every step.