Exceeds Expectations
“Exceeds Expectations” Those were the first words out of Dr Miriovsky’s mouth when he walked in the room. I needed a moment to take it in. What did that mean? “It means there is no more detectable signs of cancer” Karly and I looked at each other stunned. The three spots in my liver? Resolved. The fifth-right rib? The left pelvis? Both showed no sign of cancer tissue, only remaining sclerosis (Increased bone density). “This is everything we wanted but were afraid to hope for.” Monday was a good day.
So, what does this really mean?
First, we are just enjoying the good news that treatment appears to be effective. We once again get to praise God for His merciful hand and listening to so many of the prayers of family and friends. Thank You! We are grateful for the wisdom of my care team and their coordinated effort. I am blessed to have Karly and my kids being so supportive and encouraging even in the midst of their own fears. We have also been blessed by our church family in so many ways over the past nearly two years. This is a good place for a marker in the timeline to show our gratitude.
Second, it’s easy to say that God showed up in a big way, but Karly and I want to be clear that He was already showing up each day in a thousand ways. There have been so many times when we were walking in anxiety, God was holding us together. We were expecting a different outcome – I don’t trust the signals my body is sending me. Is that pain in my side indicating that the cancer is spreading, or dying? I just could not tell, other than there was a pain in my side. If the circumstances were different, the same God was working, and we are working to trust in his timing.
Third, we need to be real about what this means in context. It appears that my body has accepted 3 months of Chemo- and Immunotherapy successfully. While undetectable to a PET scan now, it does not mean that I am cancer free. This is a remission, but too soon to determine whether partial or complete. Because we had several months last year where cancer was undetectable, then it came back in 5 different places fully metastasized, we need to still be aggressive in treatment, and cautious when backing off. Dr Miriovsky said that I may never be off maintenance immunotherapy. The reoccurrence rate for Cholangiocarcinoma is still high. There is a cost to every victory. So we are planning to continue another 4 rounds of therapy over the next 3 months. We are also going to try and get my case before the Vanderbilt Tumor Board again to see what they recommend.
This week has been like one long exhale. I didn’t even know I was holding my breath, but psychologically, that was what we were doing. There was this tightening, shrinking feeling in my mind. Now, I am drawing sweet, deep breath into my mind and heart. Even though therapy will be continuing, I know it’s still working, and that makes it easier to push through it.
When peace like a river attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
“It is well, it is well with my soul.”
